I thought this question was worth its own post. What do you think about this…CAN cheating help your marriage?
Q. My friend just told me he’s having an affair. I’m torn between being shocked and jealous. He and his wife always seem so solid, but now he says he’s having the best sex of his life, and things couldn’t be better at home. I love my wife, but part of me wants what he’s having — I’ve never seen him happier. Can cheating actually improve your marriage?
A. Umm…doubtful. But I’m sure it can make YOU (or your friend) happier in the moment. I can see it now: He gets to have the best of both worlds, going home to his wife with an extra spring in his step after rolling around with his lover for half the day. His wife’s happier ‘cuz he’s happier (and probably hornier) and maybe in the short-term his world couldn’t be better.
But flash-forward a few months. His lover (or him) starts to want more from the affair, his wife innocently finds evidence of sexting, his torn-between-two-worlds makes him cranky at home, he accidentally comes home with someone else’s socks on his feet….you get the picture.
I don’t doubt your friend still loves his wife and is yet invigorated by the energetic surge (and ego-boost) of an affair. But as for the ‘Can cheating actually improve your marriage?’ question…well, guess that depends on how you see it. Might seem to improve it for a minute, if you take the Disrespecting-the-Wife factor off the table, but what happens when you don’t know when to quit? Is it worth throwing a seemingly-decent marriage away for? Can’t say I recommend it, but you might want to keep an eye on what happens to your friend.
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